Lets All Welcome the Newest Bulls-Ashton Kutcher and The Giant Gonzalez

The Bulls held a press conference yesterday where the introduced Kyle Korver aka Ashton Kutcher and also signed Turkish center Omer Asik who looks exactly like my man The Giant Gonzalez I demand that he wears the full body muscle suit every game next year. It would look fucking awesome under the Bulls Jersey. No way Chris Bosh is gonna fuck with a guy wearing a full body muscle suit and ready to choke slam him at the drop of a hat.

Kyle Korver is going to make it rain the entire season. I am predicting he is hands down the best three point shooter in the league next season and wins the 3 point contest. Anytime you have Derrick Rose driving to the hole and can kick it out to a sharp shooter things are looking good. The problem with Korver is, he says he hated Michael Jordan growing up. That either means one of two things, you hate America or you are the biggest douche in the world. I am going with Douche because the Bulls already have one terrorist/dead WWf superstar on their roster.