Friday, July 16, 2010

Coke and Strippers! This Is What Uncle Jesse Does!


MARQUETTE, Mich. – A Michigan couple were convicted Thursday of trying to extort $680,000 from actor John Stamos by threatening to sell old photos of him with strippers and cocaine to the tabloids unless he paid up.

Allison Coss, 24, and Scott Sippola, 31, both of Marquette, were found guilty in federal court of conspiracy and using e-mail to threaten a person's reputation — charges that could land them in prison for up to five years.

Police arrested the two in a sting in December at an Upper Peninsula airport after Stamos reported being the victim of an extortion attempt.

Defense attorneys told the jury it wasn't a crime to offer the images to Stamos before going to the celebrity media. FBI agents, however, testified that a search of the couple's home, vehicles and computer failed to turn up any evidence of embarrassing pictures.

Stamos, 46, was too late to the courtroom to hear the verdict but was present minutes later when the judge polled each juror, a common step in trials. He smiled, looked relieved, and shook hands with the prosecutors.

John Flesher, AP


Really? I mean really? This couple had pictures of John Stamos with coke and strippers? This is almost as shocking as when Ryan Seacrest came out of the closet. What? That didn't happen yet? Whatever, let's move on. I'm pretty sure Uncle Jesse has spent the last 20 years doing nothing but coke and strippers. I'm sure there are literally millions of pictures of him doing these things. This is like somebody trying to blackmail PMC saying they have pictures of him being shut down by a 2.5. Shit is just life. You can't extort someone for having pictures of them doing something they literally do 24/7. Also, I love how Uncle Jesse showed up late to court. No doubt in my mind he was held up by strippers and cocaine.

P.S. 2-1 odds on Bob Saget being in every one of those pictures.

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