Last Saturday a few friends and I wandered over to North Ave. Beach for a day of boozing. Let me preface this by saying I personally hate the beach. No matter how much you clean up afterward, sand ends up everywhere. I think I still have sand in my new balances from like 3 years ago. But I do get the appeal of it. Who wouldn't like hot dime pieces in bikinis drinking their faces off and looking to get dug out. When we arrived I quickly pour a beer into my solo cup ninja style as to draw no attention from the police. Yes, police on duty hang out at our beaches. So my buddy and I are standing, minding our own business, when officer dickface walks over. This Pacific Blue hero takes our IDs, makes us pour out the booze, threatens to arrest us, writes us up $150 tickets each, then kicks us off the beach. Now I was operating under the Wire Rule (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2fV-_eiKxE) where as long as its not blatantly obvious, a grown man can enjoy alcohol outside on a hot day. Where the fuck is Bunny Colvin when you need him? So if you plan on drinking at North Ave. Beach and don't feel like getting a $150 ticket, make sure you role solely with premade mix drinks in a brand name bottle (i.e. vodka and XXX vitamin water). And to Chicago, fuck you! Just because you blow all you cash on trash like me and my boys did last Thursday at the Pink Monkey, doesn't mean you have to try to ruin everyones summer. Tickets at the beach are as unamerican as terrorists.
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