NYDailyNews-People are coming out of the woodwork to jump on the Miami Heat bandwagon now that they have the superstar trio of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh. That includes players looking for one last day in the spotlight, too.
Penny Hardaway, a four-time NBA All-Star guard, told the Bottom Line Sports Show, an online radio program, that he wants to take the court in a small role with the Heat next season.
Hardaway, however, is 38 years old and hasn't played in an NBA game since he was released by the Heat in December 2007.
"I didn't get a chance to finish my career the way I wanted," Hardaway said on the show, which he co-hosts. Former Knick Charles Oakley is an executive producer.

HAHAHA the NBA is the best league in the entire world. Penny Hardaway thinks he can actually still play basketball. The Heat might as well have open tryouts cause if Penny can attempt to make a comeback, I want in. I played basketball in middle school and my jump shot is wet. But seriously, really Penny you havent been good since Blackstreet came out with No diggity. Yeah that is a long fucking time and I don't care how many times you hit the gym, you aren't good at basketball. You might as well give Jud Buechelor a call because I bet he still can make it rain from 3. The only way I could see the Heat bringing in Penny is if they could sign little Penny also, because that would be doin it. How awesome would it be to see a puppet throwing DWade alley oops and dancing to No Diggity. I'd pay lots of money to see that.

Does this look like the Face of the Son of the Will County Board Chairman who stabbed a dude over a chick?

A Mokena teen was in good condition today at a hospital, recovering from stab wounds allegedly inflicted by the son of the Will County board chairman during a dispute over a girl, authorities said.
Matthew W. Moustis, 17, of the 7500 block of West Windmill Drive in Frankfort Square is charged with two counts of aggravated battery in connection with the Wednesday night stabbing at a school parking lot on the 20900 block of South Frankfort Square Road, law enforcement officials said.
Will County sheriff's police arrested Moustis around 11 p.m. Wednesday. He was in the Will County Adult Detention Facility this morning and was scheduled to appear at a 1:30 p.m. bond hearing, Will County State's Attorney spokesman Charles Pelkie said.
Sheriff's Police spokeswoman Kathy Hoffmeyer said deputies dispatched to the school parking lot found the injured 18-year-old man being treated by Frankfort Fire Protection District paramedics.
The teen told deputies he had been driving north on 80th Avenue when he realized Moustis was behind him in a larger vehicle, Hoffmeyer said. The man said he avoided attempts to force his vehicle off the road and pulled over in the school parking lot to confront Moustis, Hoffmeyer said.
Moustis, the son of Will County Board Chairman Jim Moustis, allegedly emerged from his vehicle with a 16-year-old who was the 18-year-old's ex-girlfriend. She reportedly told the victim their relationship was over.
The victim told deputies he pushed Moustis. Moustis, using a silver knife provided by the girl, responded by slashing and stabbing him.

What a heartmorning love story this is. Looks like my man Matt Moustis isn't really worried about getting in trouble for this little stabbing incident huh? I guess I wouldn't be worried if my dad was the chairman of the Will County Board. He is basically the Joe Biden of Will County and that is one big swinging dick no homo. This just goes to show that some dudes will do anything for some pussy. She must have some dick wrecking moves to get this gump to try and kill her ex. Me on the other hand doesn't have to worry about that. I will get chicks to do the stabbing for me. Then again if there was a certified 8 or better ready to bang out I wouldn't be opposed to stabbing another dude. Actually, I think I would start off by stabbing Will for a certified 6.

Sheffield Garden Walk is Tomorrow

This is by far the best outdoor summer fest in Chicago. If you live or are from Chicago and don't know what I am talking about or have never been, stop reading find the nearest gun and kill yourself. The Garden Walk may sound extremely gay, but let me tell you it kills it. Lincoln Park is turned into an all day booze fest with live music, beer stands, and most importantly who's who of Chicago. Obviously, since I am the man I live around the corner from the Garden Walk and will be having the ultimate throwdown, complete with vodka lemonades, kegs, and the hottest chicks in the street. Would Jennifer Hudson and Punk from I love New York be at the Garden Walk two years ago if it wasn't the shit?

Is It my fault I am doin it?

Will likes to text me 8000 times a day complaining about my lack of posts and my answer to him is get off my dick. Sorry I am not sorry Bro. While I am busy doin it/getting chicks/being awesome, Will is begging to suck Lebron James's dick in Ohio. I would rather cut my dick off then be in Ohio. Also, Will just isn't as funny as your boy here. If I wasn't out boozing my face off for Mcgee's dollar beers last night maybe I would have wrote a semi funny blog about Uncle Jesse or maybe I would have wrote a sick article about homeless people. Hey Will I know that shit is like 3 months old bro. Sorry for partying

Coke and Strippers! This Is What Uncle Jesse Does!

MARQUETTE, Mich. – A Michigan couple were convicted Thursday of trying to extort $680,000 from actor John Stamos by threatening to sell old photos of him with strippers and cocaine to the tabloids unless he paid up.

Allison Coss, 24, and Scott Sippola, 31, both of Marquette, were found guilty in federal court of conspiracy and using e-mail to threaten a person's reputation — charges that could land them in prison for up to five years.

Police arrested the two in a sting in December at an Upper Peninsula airport after Stamos reported being the victim of an extortion attempt.

Defense attorneys told the jury it wasn't a crime to offer the images to Stamos before going to the celebrity media. FBI agents, however, testified that a search of the couple's home, vehicles and computer failed to turn up any evidence of embarrassing pictures.

Stamos, 46, was too late to the courtroom to hear the verdict but was present minutes later when the judge polled each juror, a common step in trials. He smiled, looked relieved, and shook hands with the prosecutors.

John Flesher, AP

Really? I mean really? This couple had pictures of John Stamos with coke and strippers? This is almost as shocking as when Ryan Seacrest came out of the closet. What? That didn't happen yet? Whatever, let's move on. I'm pretty sure Uncle Jesse has spent the last 20 years doing nothing but coke and strippers. I'm sure there are literally millions of pictures of him doing these things. This is like somebody trying to blackmail PMC saying they have pictures of him being shut down by a 2.5. Shit is just life. You can't extort someone for having pictures of them doing something they literally do 24/7. Also, I love how Uncle Jesse showed up late to court. No doubt in my mind he was held up by strippers and cocaine.

P.S. 2-1 odds on Bob Saget being in every one of those pictures.

Hot Sauce In My Bag!

UPPER MARLBORO, Md. -- Cleveland Cavaliers guard Delonte West pleaded guilty Thursday to weapons charges and received a home detention sentence that includes flexibility to travel to NBA games if the league allows it.

In Prince George's County Circuit Court, Judge Graydon S. McKee III sentenced West to eight months of home detention with electronic monitoring, two years of unsupervised probation, 40 hours of community service and psychological counseling.

Prosecutors said that the sentence would allow West to attend practices and travel to NBA games as his team's schedule requires, but NBA officials would not say whether any he'll face any additional discipline that could keep him off the court.

NBA spokesman Tim Frank said in an e-mailed statement that the league would "review the court's decision before making any disciplinary decisions."

West told the courtroom he has been "put on a pedestal" because he can "dribble a basketball," and worries about letting down youth who look up to athletes.

"I'm ashamed to stand before you," West said, later adding "I've set a bad example."

Authorities said the basketball player was carrying two loaded handguns, a loaded shotgun and an 8½-inch Bowie knife while speeding on a three-wheel motorcycle on the Capital Beltway last September. Police said West, who owns two homes in Prince George's County, Md., was pulled over after cutting off an officer. Video released by the prosecution after the hearing showed West stepping off the motorcycle with his hands in the air, and then standing on the side of the highway with his arms still raised.

AP

I'm obsessed with all things Delonte West. Even before the whole LeBron's mom thing, the guy was the craziest/funniest guy in the NBA. I mean have you even seen the youtube KFC video? Shit is classic. Add in the 3 wheel motorcycle, gun in the guitar case, and giant knife and you had me at hello. But possibly my favorite thing about Delonte West is that no one knows his race. Is he black? White? Mixed? No one knows. I once asked my buddy who grew up in Maryland close to Delonte what his race was. His answer, "Is hood a race?" Could not have said it better myself.

Dear Homeless People, Please Go Away

Every day on my walk through downtown Chicago, I encounter at least 30 homeless people begging for money. First off, if I gave all of you assholes my money I would be broke. Secondly, who the fuck carries change anymore? Whenever someone gives me change I just throw that shit straight to the ground. So these degenerates want actual dollar bills from me? Sorry old raggedy looking war vet, not today.

These greedy homeless people aren’t even offering a service any more. At least back in the day they pretended to try to wash you windshield, now these bastards just sit in their wheelchairs shaking their used coffee cups. If you’re not providing some sort of service or entertainment, you aren’t getting anything from me pops. Fuck, I would love to just booze all day, wander the streets, and holler at chicks, but guess what Bro this is real life and I have to work to do those things.

A few years ago a homeless guy had a sign saying he would do 20 push ups for $2. Now seeing a crack head/alcoholic do push ups is my kind of entertainment. This awful smelling low life was able to muster 10 push ups, then collapsed. I thought this was deserving of a dollar, not $2 though. You want $2, do all 20 asshole. So unless homeless people start offering some sort of service or entertainment, Chicago should have their TMA workers just stab them all. At least those TMA assholes would finally be earning a paycheck. Now I’m all riled up. You win this round fuckin homeless pieces of shit.